Rättning av text
Aboriginals
Archaeologists believe that the Aboriginals first came to the Australian continent around 45,000 years ago. They came to Australia by small boats or canoes from Southeast Asia.
Before the invasion, Aboriginal people lived throughout Australia.The highest population was along the coast.
The aboriginals spoke their own language and before 1788, it is said there were 200-250 different languages spoken by Aboriginal people living throughout Australia. They were also shorter then a average person. The most aboriginals had brown curly hair and between dark and light dark skin.
When the first Europeans arrived around 1788 to Australia, the aboriginals lived all over the country and they were about 300 000 at this point. In the late 1990s, they were a much smaller number and were struggling to claim rights to their traditional lands. Relations between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal human of Australia have not been very good. Ever since the Europeans invaded, Aboriginal peoples have had their land stolen from them or destroyed. The Aboriginals couldn't do any resistance to the Europeans. The "white men" wouldn't see any good in the aboriginals, so they killed many of them.
The aboriginals were never taken serious and was often ignored by other people.
The aboriginals fished, hunted, harvest food and trade with other tribal groups. They had no permanent place of residence although they did have territories.
Other name for aboriginals is the "stolen generation"
the name comes from people forcefully took away the aboriginals children from their family. This happened mostly around 1900 centuries. Many who was taken away would never got se their families again.
Not all aboriginals children's were taken away it was often just the "half cast " one. A half cast is when the human is a mixed and not a "clean" aboriginal.
Often babies were stolen as soon as they were born and their mother had no chance of seeing them. They were called "Blanket Babies" because nurses covered the baby with a blanket to hide them from their mothers.
The stolen children were raised by foster parents, they were often punished when caught talking their Aboriginal language. Some children never learned anything traditional and didn't even know were they came from.
Det är rätt mycket fel så det är för mycket begärt att vi ska sätta alla. Jag tar en mening på måfå.
"Many who was taken away would never got se their families again." och rättar den till
Many who were taken away would never get to see their families again.
Kolla när man ska apostrof-s. Du skriver " aboriginals children's" i stället för aboriginals' children.
Här kommer lite fler meningar (och tips på hur du kan förbättra ditt skrivande):
Before the invasion – Vilken invasion? Här kan läsaren bara gissa sig till vad du syftar till. I nästa mening nämner du 1788 utan att förklara varför. Först i andra stycket förklarar du att det var européerna som kom 1788. Jag tycker du ska jobba med att förbättra ordningen på din fakta – din text har mycket att vinna på det!
Om du omstrukturerar texten kan du också ta bort många av de upprepningar som du har. I de sex första meningarna kan man tre gånger läsa att: 1) Aboriginal people lived throughout Australia…. 2) Aboriginal people living throughout Australia… 3) …the aboriginals lived all over the country… Känner du själv att det blir väldigt mycket upprepning?
The highest population was along the coast --> The highest population density was along the coasts. Det finns ju flera kuster runt Australien. Om de var bosatte främst längs en kust så nämn vilken.
… shorter then a average person. –-> …shorter than an average person.
…The most aboriginals had brown... –.> Most aboriginals had…
Relations between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal human of Australia… det ska vara humans men skriv gärna (exempelvis) inhabitants istället.
Ju mer jag läser desto tydligare blir det att du tar många meningar och formuleringar direkt från dina källor. Det märks tydligt då språket helt plötsligt förändras och blir formulerat på ett sätt som inte alls passar in i ditt övriga sätt att skriva. Ett exempel på plagierad formulering är från schoolatoz.nsw.edu.au:
Källans mening: Before 1788, it is estimated there were approximately 200-250 different languages spoken by Aboriginal people living throughout Australia.
Din mening: … before 1788, it is said there were 200-250 different languages spoken by Aboriginal people living throughout Australia.…
Ett annat exempel som jag tyckte var väldigt tydligt och som jag enkelt hittade på google är från survivalinternational.org/tribes/aboriginals:
Källans mening: Ever since the British first invaded, Aboriginal peoples have had their land stolen from them or destroyed.
Din mening: Ever since the Europeans invaded, Aboriginal peoples have had their land stolen from them or destroyed.
Det är absolut inget fel i att använda källor, ju fler desto bättre! Men var noga med att ta idéer och fakta från källorna, inte formuleringar! Att direkt kopiera text (plagiera) förstör bara för dig själv och din skolgång. Det leder till att du inte utvecklar ditt eget ordförråd, du missar att själv fundera över hur du vill beskriva en händelse och du lär dig inte lika mycket av det du arbetar med eftersom du inte tar dig tid att själv tänka över det du läser i källorna.
Hur skriver man en text med egna ord? Ett bra tips är att först läsa på, samla fakta, anteckna faktan i en mindmap, som stödord, bilder, egna korta meningar etc. Sedan bestämmer du i vilken ordning du vill berätta om allt det du läst. När du har ordningen klar börjar du skriva. När du skriver ska du inte alls läsa dina källor mer, utan bara läsa faktan från dina egna anteckningar/stödord/mindmaps. Du kan tänka dig att du ska berätta allt det du lärt dig om aboriginerna och deras historia för en kompis/familjemedlem/dig själv. Du går bara i grundskolan så mer avancerade formuleringar och ord kommer att dyka upp av sig själva i ditt huvud ju mer engelska du studerar och läser - använd de uttryck och ord som dyker upp naturligt för dig. Självklart kan du gärna använd ordbok/internet för se hur man formulerar vissa saker ifall du blir osäker på ord/grammatik. Om du tränar på detta kommer du sakta men säkert, och för varje inlämning i engelska/svenska/historia eller vad det än är för ämne, att märka att det blir lättare och roligare att skriva.
Jag stannar i min rättning här. Om du skriver om texten helt i dina egna ord så läser jag gärna igen och hjälper till med grammatik, ord och formuleringar :)
Precis som annlu sa så har du kopierat texten men gjort om den lite grann, precis som annlu sa så är det inte så dåligt men kom ihåg att du ska också kunna skriva bra texter utan att kopiera, klistra in och ändra lite ord här och var. Du hade hyfsat många fel i texten dessutom men jag rättade några av de åt dig men resten får du lista ut själv.
Aboriginals
Archaeologists believe that the Aboriginals first came to the Australian continent around 45,000 years ago. They came to Australia by small boats or canoes from Southeast Asia.
Before the invasion, Aboriginal people lived throughout Australia.The highest population was along the coast.
The aboriginals spoke their own language and before 1788, it is said there were 200-250 different languages spoken by Aboriginal people living throughout Australia. They were also shorter than an average person. The most aboriginals had brown curly hair and between dark and light dark skin.
When the first Europeans arrived around 1788 to Australia, the aboriginals lived all over the country and they were about 300 000 at this point. In the late 1990s, they were a much smaller number and were struggling to claim rights to their traditional lands. Relations between Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal human of Australia have not been very good. Ever since the Europeans invaded, Aboriginal peoples have had their land stolen from them or destroyed. The Aboriginals couldn't do any resistance to the Europeans. The "white men" wouldn't see any good in the aboriginals, so they killed many of them.
The aboriginals were never taken seriously and were often ignored by other people.
The aboriginals fished, hunted, harvest food and trade with other tribal groups. They had no permanent place of residence although they did have territories.
Another name for aboriginals is the "stolen generation".
The name comes from people that forcefully took away the aboriginals children from their family. This happened mostly around 1900 centuries. Many who were taken away would never get to see their families again.
Not all aboriginals children's were taken away it was often just the "half cast " one. A half cast is when the human is a mixed and not a "clean" aboriginal.
Often babies were stolen as soon as they were born and their mother had no chance of seeing them. They were called "Blanket Babies" because nurses covered the baby with a blanket to hide them from their mothers.
The stolen children were raised by foster parents, they were often punished when caught talking their Aboriginal language. Some children never learned anything traditional and didn't even know where they came from.
