Rätt bedömning?

Hej, jag har på ett prov skrivit en artikel efter genomgång om vad som behövs för de olika betygen. Själv anser jag att artikeln översteg exemplet för A. När vi gick igenom provet var en faktor till att jag inte fick bättre betyg att mitt avslut var "abrupt". Jag själv var nöjd med texten, utöver enstaka slarvfel. Jag var framförallt mycket stolt över slutet. När vi pratade om det och jag nämnde att jag är stolt, och att det är så jag skriver, svarade hon med "men det är jag som sätter betyg, eller hur". När jag gick igenom texten med en annan lärare sa han klart och tydligt att han inte höll med min lärare på många delar. Därför undrar jag vad ni tror att det skulle bli för bedömning, jag läser första året på gymnasiet. Jag har här kopierat texten, inklusive lärarens noteringar (det kan vara fetstil, parentes eller genomstrukits)(varav många jag förstår och håller med om). Tack!!

Movies haven't been a part of the society for very long. It started to break through in the 19th century. It began with short scenes with clear ? , but boring, actors. They often did oversized movements and gestures. Animated films began to develop a while later. Walt Disney, which you've surely heard about, produced the first movie made by drawings. It worked about the same way, but instead of printing thousands of photos, they drawed them. Disney's first animated film contained the famous, popular, Mickey Mouse. The movie showed Mickey maneovering his boat, whistling. It was short, but it started a new generation and development in the movie-making world.  (interesting intro)

Movies, unexpectedly, is a big part of my life. I've been watching movies my whole life (rep), all sorts of them. Movies helps me to relax and enjoy the moment, giving me a chance to get away from reality, which can give me a really hard time. I like all sorts of movies, fantasy, action, sci-fi, thrillers, comedy, some documentaries, childrens movies, some which I love! There's plenty of genres nowadays, it would fill this entire essay.

The huge selection in the movie world makes it able for anyone to be satisfied. There's a movie for everything, no matter what ( it might be ). For example, if you like horses, there are thousands of movies, all with different characters, and hopefully, different stories as well. If you're into other sports or hobbies, like football, singing (good) , art, anything, there's a movie for you. If you're in love, you might want to watch a love story, or if you're in a holiday mood, like Christmas or Halloween, there's thousands of movies. There's a documentary for everything, if you'd prefer that.

Popular books can be made into movies, which some of them contains (rephrase) stories so long, it has to be multiple movies. There are fan|groups for everything. For example, the Harry Potter world| is popular all around the world, and many people becomes friends because of their shared interest in this specifical movies. There's countless of places and profiles on the internet, or social medias, only for fans loving the same thing. Movies in general, bring people together just because of that. There are huge events and (or) smaller gatherings, | to discuss, (explain) dress up or just to watch the movies together.

There are, unfortunately, people getting so obsessed with a specific movie and its world, they cannot find time for anything else. Some people, I can imagine, have stuffed their home full of things from the fantasy world the hope exists. They're watching movies and (they’re – ing) buys a great amount (number) of things, (so that) they can't afford anything else, like food, or to pay the bills. Movies can affect people's lives so bad that it'll ruin everything they've built up. (But,) Let's not get depressed, there are plenty of benefits as well. Many people learn new languages by watching movies. And even if it's a silly comedy, you always learn something, or | get confused, which will make you look it up.

The movie production will not slow down. It'll grow, and (meantime), develop. The movie-making will get better and more realistic, until the day no one can separate fantasy from real things. People are going to spend more time ar home, watching movies and imagine themselves in such situations, but it'll never come true. With no movement, the human body suffers, it'll die slowly without anyone noticing. I believe, sometimes in the future, you'll be able to step into the movie, to be another person. Your life will become a game, a game you can never win. (a bit abrupt)