Engelska text : Feedback
Hej, jag går i 8:an och har fått i uppgift att skriva en broshyr, dvs en pamphlet, om sådant som gäller hälsan. Jag har valt att skriva om rökning och främst vad farorna med det är och de negativa följderna. Jag skulle bli väldigt tacksam om någon kunde ge feedback på det jag skrivit och påpeka gärna om jag skrivit fel.
Tack på förhand!
Här är texten:
Why Buy Your Own Death
There are always people who don't do proper decision in their life, sometimes they even don't know what the consequences are. One of this decision is to begin smoking. When you begin smoking it’s almost impossible to stop.
Therefor people begin smoking
There are about one milliard smokers in the world, most of them are from poor countries. It may be because of that they have a little knowledge about the dangers of smoking. Most of the smokers begin smoking at an age of 12-17, unfortunately, the risk of getting cancer and developing nicotine dependence is depending on the age, the younger the smoker is the more dangerous. There are lots of different reasons why teens start to smoke, but the most common reason is that the teenager's friends are smokers and then it’s more likely to him or her to begin smoke to get a sense of belonging. About 600 000 smokers from all around the world die every year with different variates of diseases, as lung cancer. The occurrence of this illness can occur due to smoking. Smoking not only results in yellow teeth nor a lot of wrinkles in addition researchers say that on average smokers live ten years less than non-smokers.
Reasons to quit smoking
For those reasons, lots of smokers are trying to stop smoking. On the other hand, only 50% of those who are trying to stop smoking manage. It turns to an addiction that is hard to quit. Sometimes smokers feel uncomfortable when they have not smoked during a period and it makes it difficult for them to resist the temptation of smoking. The nicotine that is inside the cigarette contains 500 different chemicals and these make the smoker feels relaxed. That is why the smoker sometimes feels that he or she is in need of it. Furthermore, that most people have taken for granted, is that the smoke does not only hurt the smoker, in fact, the smoker only breathe in a quarter of the smoke and the rest hurts the other people in the environment. Another thing worth mentioning is that a smoker loses about 16 000 kronor every year. That money could be spent in other ways such as a vacation, a new phone, a new computer or simply saving them.
But only after one smokeless day the risk of getting myocardial infarction has reduced a lot. After fifteen years the body has recovered itself and there is nothing to indicate that the person has smoked once.
Therefore it’s never too late to stop smoking, in the end almost everyone pursuit of a good health.
Thinker skrev :Hej, jag går i 8:an och har fått i uppgift att skriva en broshyr, dvs en pamphlet, om sådant som gäller hälsan. Jag har valt att skriva om rökning och främst vad farorna med det är och de negativa följderna. Jag skulle bli väldigt tacksam om någon kunde ge feedback på det jag skrivit och påpeka gärna om jag skrivit fel.
Tack på förhand!
Här är texten:
Why Buy Your Own Death
There are always people who don't do proper decision in their life, sometimes they even don't know what the consequences are. One of this decision is to begin smoking. When you begin smoking it’s almost impossible to stop.
Therefor people begin smokingThere are about one milliard smokers in the world, most of them are from poor countries. It may be because of that they have a little knowledge about the dangers of smoking. Most of the smokers begin smoking at an age of 12-17, unfortunately, the risk of getting cancer and developing nicotine dependence is depending on the age, the younger the smoker is the more dangerous. There are lots of different reasons why teens start to smoke, but the most common reason is that the teenager's friends are smokers and then it’s more likely to him or her to begin smoke to get a sense of belonging. About 600 000 smokers from all around the world die every year with different variates of diseases, as lung cancer. The occurrence of this illness can occur due to smoking. Smoking not only results in yellow teeth nor a lot of wrinkles in addition researchers say that on average smokers live ten years less than non-smokers.
Reasons to quit smoking
For those reasons, lots of smokers are trying to stop smoking. On the other hand, only 50% of those who are trying to stop smoking manage. It turns to an addiction that is hard to quit. Sometimes smokers feel uncomfortable when they have not smoked during a period and it makes it difficult for them to resist the temptation of smoking. The nicotine that is inside the cigarette contains 500 different chemicals and these make the smoker feels relaxed. That is why the smoker sometimes feels that he or she is in need of it. Furthermore, that most people have taken for granted, is that the smoke does not only hurt the smoker, in fact, the smoker only breathe in a quarter of the smoke and the rest hurts the other people in the environment. Another thing worth mentioning is that a smoker loses about 16 000 kronor every year. That money could be spent in other ways such as a vacation, a new phone, a new computer or simply saving them.
But only after one smokeless day the risk of getting myocardial infarction has reduced a lot. After fifteen years the body has recovered itself and there is nothing to indicate that the person has smoked once.
Therefore it’s never too late to stop smoking, in the end almost everyone pursuit of a good health.
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1 spaminlägg raderat.
moderator
milliard?
PeterÅ skrev :milliard?
Tack så mycket! Jag ska ändra det till billion.
"One of this decision" -> "One of these decisions"
"Therefor" -> "Therefore" ("therefore" is better?)
"have a little knowledge" - "have little knowledge"
"the most common reason is that the teenager's friends are smokers and then it’s more likely to him or her to begin smoke" -> "the most common reason is that a teenager's friends are smokers and then this teenager feels pressured to start smoking too"
"The nicotine that is inside the cigarette contains 500 different chemicals and these make the smoker feels relaxed" -> "Besides of nicotine, cigarette smoke contains over 500 different chemicals and some them make the smoker feel relaxed"
"a smoker loses about 16 000 kronor every year" -> "an average smoker loses about 1'600 EUR or USD (corresponds to cca 16'000 SEK) every year due to costs of tobacco products"
> > milliard?
> Tack så mycket! Jag ska ändra det till billion.
Try "giga" or "10^9". I personally never use the word "billion" since it's desperately broken. I've seen many obviously misstranslated texts where some values were wrong only by factor 1'000. :-D
